On the Power of Self-Talk

leaves-smallThink about the things you say to yourself, out loud or in your head. Would you ever speak to someone else that way?

A few months back, I attended a leadership training in which we role played a very unique scenario. First, we described a time when someone put a great deal of stress on us. Our partner role-played as that person and we were charged with first responding as we did at the time, and then responding after taking a deep breath and centering ourselves, in order to notice the difference.

negative-self-talkOne of the participants chose to have their partner act out their own thoughts. Much like myself, this person was more impacted by their own thoughts than any stress caused by another. In the exercise debrief, we talked about how it felt. The partner who had to act out this person’s self-berating was on the verge of tears. He talked about how hard it was for him to talk to her that way, how he imagined saying those things to his wife and it broke his heart. Continue reading

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On Not Mothering, Hovering, or Micromanaging

In scrolling through my blog feed this week, I clicked on a post from Leadership Freak that really spoke to something that’s been bouncing around my head for a while. Specifically, the line below stood out, and I think it highlights a particularly important issue in leadership development today.

“When leaders act like mommy, team members act like children.”

Leadership Freak

We have moved away from a leadership model that includes fear and tyranny, and into a time of service leadership and leading by example. Our language has moved from how to make people follow your orders to discussion about how to inspire those around you to action for your cause or your project.

In this transition, there is a line that we must not cross, lest we want children to follow us instead of capable, empowered adults. That line is drawn at what is colloquially known as mothering, but is really just micromanagement, or hovering. Continue reading

Thoughts on the New Theme

Hey guys, I’d love to know what you think of the new theme for the blog! Submit your vote below, and feel free to leave comments below with any details you’d like to add 🙂

On the Impact of Organization and the Tools I Use to Stay Sane

One of the most impactful things in my life has turned out to be something I never thought could contribute to someone’s happiness in any meaningful way. The ability to keep myself organized please vital role in my day-to-day life. It allows me focus on the things I love without worrying if there are enough hours in the day or stressing out about remembering to get milk on the way home.

Being organized has allowed me to cut my weekly grocery shopping time down from three hours of crisscrossing the market to one hour of streamlined get-in-get-out effort. It has made sharing information about my work schedule with my team much easier than it used to be. Having these tangible results to look at gives me confidence that, in setting a resolution for the new year, I will be able to succeed in that. In this post I’m going to give you some of the apps and tricks I use to stay organized. Continue reading

On the Fears that Follow Us

the_fears_that_follow_usEveryone has them. The fears that follow you through your whole life, nagging at you incessantly through every interaction you have. For most of us, those fears don’t even look like fears anymore. They have morphed into a part of our being, we explain them away as if they are just a part of our personality, just the way we are and that can never change.

For me, that fear is being boring or, as many of the people I knew in high school and college put it, “too adult”. I know, that is very broad and probably seems like something I could change easily with a bit of effort, the right clothes and a willingness to take on new hobbies or go out to the bar more often. In reality, whether I’m boring or not, the fear is there and the fear is the thing that is hardest to get rid of. Continue reading